|Panic on the streets...
||[Oct. 18th, 2005|04:35 pm]
Time for us to resurrect the sarcasm of the week feature.*|
As part of the mass hysteria over bird flu (an advantage to being an amoeba at last!), we bring you this from The Register:
"Gartner has released an essential guide to avian influenza, aka bird flu, aka Black Death II, [...]"
The Register notes:
"Gartner rightly warns that bird flu could be even worse than SARS, which in 2003 killed a chilling 774 of 8,096 people infected worldwide, in the process generating 1.2bn column inches of press hysteria and rating an impressive 7.2 (out of ten) on the international "Imminent Pandemic Apocalypse" scale."
No need to panic everyone, your employer should be setting in place a plan to ensure that in the event that you get it, you can carry on working from your (death) bed. Pointers include:
"Establish or expand policies and tools that enable employees to work from home with broadband access, appropriate security and network access to applications."
Helpfully The Register has come up with a few tips of its own:
"Assign someone in your business to stand on the roof and shoot anything with wings."
"Lock infected employees in their homes with broadband access and then paint a red cross on the door."
Right. Sarcasm over. Let the hysteria continue...
* not actually weekly or a feature
You will regret your flippant words once you are dead of the bird flu. Look at me, I jested at the SARS, swanning around in airports licking asian people. Then I got the SARS and died. Now I'm sorry.
2005-10-18 05:20 pm (UTC)
A Bird Solution
As we can presume that bird flu will eventually mean we'll have to slaughter all animals in Britain, let us do it now, while they're still edible. I for one will be doing my bit by eating Swan every day this month, Swan stuff with goose stuffed with duck stuffed with hen stuffed with quail stuffed with lark stuffed with various eggs, to be exact. Anyone who doesn't follow my example is a traitor and a fool.
Pah, you puny humans. We will be giggling from our vodka knowing that we are non-hosts. Tee hee.
2005-10-19 10:45 pm (UTC)
Re: A Bird Solution
You wait, the press are all worried about the human cross over. The amoeba cross over just gets less press, ha ha ha!